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"Courtship of the Mermaid" is the twelfth track on Ninja Sex Party's sixth album, Cool Patrol. Its music video was released on June 24th, 2019.


Once upon a morning dawn
Ninja Brian and I happened upon
A gold pond in a forest enchanted, where we
Both gazed upon a bold sight so fair
See there, beneath the blue waterfall
A mermaid was swimming, and my heart, enthralled
Became lost in the beautiful lines of her face
Her every life movement was exquisite grace

I trembled in silence at the love of my life
Such a delicate moment, I must play this just right

"Hey, you want pizza?!" I screamed loud as shit
Then I grabbed the whole pizza, threw the fuck out of it
It soared through the air like some pizza-ass doves
Now marvel and witness the glory of love

"Here comes the pizza!"

The mermaid looked off with her hair in the breeze
While she noticed not my love letter of cheese
I don't see how I may get her soul to listen
Like sunlight she shines, like crystals she glistens
I need to dream an ingenious new scheme
So this angel shall open her heart to me

"More pizza, Brian! With onions and ham, too!
Now coat me in pizza and throw me, goddamn you!"
As choirs of angels sing out to the sky
In a cheese crust of passion my true love shall fly

"Gah! My legs! Aw, they're definitely broken! Oh no! A handsome merman has just appeared. He's brought the mermaid filet mignon, Brian. That's a clearly superior dish. Now they're boning. Wow, that was fast. Hold on, I'm gonna try to hop over and tell her I love her. Aaaahhhh! Can one of you angels fly me to a hospital please? No? Cool. Fuck you guys."

Music Video Credits[]



  • Directed by Sean Barrett
  • Edited by Kelly Brickner Lyon
  • Additional editing by Sean Barrett
  • Director of Photography: Gordon Yould
  • Producer: Dana Kurth, Guise Creative
  • Camera Utility: Brooks Ludwick
  • Hair & Makeup: Jan Rooney
  • Production Assistant: Urks Kurth

Music Credits[]



  • Written by Dan Avidan and Brian Wecht
  • Produced and Engineered by Jim Arsenault and Dave Dominguez
  • Recorded at Buffalo Recording in Los Angeles, CA
  • Mixed by Jay Ruston at TRS West, assisted by John Douglass
  • Mastered by Randy Merrill at Sterling Sound, NYC
  • Music & video produced with absolutely no help at all from Brent Lilley

External Links[]

Watch "Courtship of the Mermaid - NSP" on YouTube

Danny SexbangNinja Brian
Dan AvidanBrian Wecht
Studio Albums Original Albums NSFWStrawberries and CreamAttitude CityCool PatrolThe ProphecyLevel Up
Cover Albums Under the CoversUnder the Covers, Vol. IIUnder the Covers, Vol. III
Singles "Dinosaur Laser Fight" • "FYI I Wanna F Your A" • "Next to You" • "Unicorn Wizard" • "Party of Three" • "Dragon Slayer" • "Peppermint Creams" • "Attitude City" • "Why I Cry" • "Road Trip" • "Cool Patrol" • "Eating Food in the Shower" • "Danny Don't You Know" • "Orgy for One" • "Wondering Tonight"
Music Videos "I Just Want To (Dance)" • "The Decision" • "No Reason Boner" • "The Sacred Chalice" • "If We Were Gay" • "Sex Training" • "Objects of Desire" • "You Can Do Us!" • "Manticore" • "Dinosaur Laser Fight" • "FYI I Wanna F Your A" • "NSP Theme Song" • "Three Minutes of Ecstasy" • "Next to You" • "Unicorn Wizard" • "The Ultimate Sandwich" • "Let's Get This Terrible Party Started" • "Best Friends Forever!" • "Party of Three" • "Rhinoceratops vs. Superpuma" • "Dragon Slayer" • "Attitude City" • "Why I Cry" • "Peppermint Creams" • "The Last Unicorn" • "Everybody Shut Up" • "Road Trip" • "Cookies!" • "Take On Me" • "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" • "Samurai Abstinence Patrol" • "6969" • "Cool Patrol" • "Wish You Were Here" • "Eating Food in the Shower" • "Pour Some Sugar on Me" • "Rocket Man" • "Heat of the Moment" • "Orgy for One" • "Danny Don't You Know" • "Heart Boner" • "First Date" • "Africa" • "Release the Kraken" • "In Your Eyes" • "Courtship of the Mermaid" • "Mansion Party" • "We Built This City" • "Down Under" • "The Decision Part 2: Ten Years Later" • "I Don't Know What We're Talking About" • "Thunder & Lightning" • "Wondering Tonight" • "It's Bedtime" • "Welcome to My Parents' House" • "The Mystic Crystal"