Once upon a morning dawn
Ninja Brian and I happened upon
A gold pond in a forest enchanted, where we
Both gazed upon a bold sight so fair
See there, beneath the blue waterfall
A mermaid was swimming, and my heart, enthralled
Became lost in the beautiful lines of her face
Her every life movement was exquisite grace
I trembled in silence at the love of my life
Such a delicate moment, I must play this just right
"Hey, you want pizza?!" I screamed loud as shit
Then I grabbed the whole pizza, threw the fuck out of it
It soared through the air like some pizza-ass doves
Now marvel and witness the glory of love
"Here comes the pizza!"
The mermaid looked off with her hair in the breeze
While she noticed not my love letter of cheese
I don't see how I may get her soul to listen
Like sunlight she shines, like crystals she glistens
I need to dream an ingenious new scheme
So this angel shall open her heart to me
"More pizza, Brian! With onions and ham, too!
Now coat me in pizza and throw me, goddamn you!"
As choirs of angels sing out to the sky
In a cheese crust of passion my true love shall fly
"Gah! My legs! Aw, they're definitely broken! Oh no! A handsome merman has just appeared. He's brought the mermaid filet mignon, Brian. That's a clearly superior dish. Now they're boning. Wow, that was fast. Hold on, I'm gonna try to hop over and tell her I love her. Aaaahhhh! Can one of you angels fly me to a hospital please? No? Cool. Fuck you guys."