"Dragon Slayer" is the sixth track on Ninja Sex Party's third album, Attitude City. Its music video was released on February 21st, 2014.

Lyrics[edit | edit source]

Why hello there. You're a very attractive young lady. I'd like to ask you out on the hottest of dates. I see that you have a lot of other gentleman suitors. Allow me to make my case.

This guy plays football

But I once won the whole Super Bowl by myself

This guy is a weightlifter

But I can bench an entire continental shelf

That dude is a scientist

But I already cured all diseases last week

And if that's not enough, lemme ask

When was the last time one of these dicks killed a motherfuckin' mythical beast?

Oh yeah! I will rock your world

Cause I'm a dragon slayer, girl

I shall now expose my chest

Don't act like you're not impressed

How hard did I just seal the deal

With my dragon slayer steel?

Do you feel all my sexy appeal

And my story that's so very totally real?

I rode up to the mountaintop

It was ninety million hundred fifty thousand hundred feet in the air

Til I found the dragon's cave

And I fought through his army of awesome karate bears

The dragon's breath was a blast from hell

And it burned so bad I missed a longstanding appointment for brunch

Then I swung my horse like a club

And it causes a sonic boom that ruptured space and then exploded the sun!

Oh yeah! You are now in love

With both my dragon slaying nuts

I killed a demon with these hands

Did I say I'm also in a band?

In case you might need more proof

I brought the dragon right to you

Ooh! It's the one that I slew

He'll attest that my story is totally true!

Dragon dance!

I am a dragon!

Not some guy Dan met at the bus station in a dragon suit! (Woo!)

Girl, let's go back to my place

Nothing fancy, just a huge mansion in space

Can you guess what's coming next?

Here's a hint: I'm talking about sex

This is the best day of your life

You'll be my dragon slayer wife

Alright! Now it's time to decide

Which lucky one of us is gonna be your lover tonight!

Oh, I see you've chosen the football player. And the scientist. And apparently the weightlifter as well. And the dragon. And Ninja Brian. And the Manticore? He wasn't even in this song!

The Manticore laughs

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