No Reason Boner

No Reason Boner is the seventh track on Ninja Sex Party's first album, NSFW. Its music video was released on February 12th, 2010.

Lyrics

Alright, Ninja Brian. This is a big party we're going to tonight. There'll be lots of beautiful woman there who will be expecting excellent love to be made to them. Are you ready? Good. Now I forgot to shave this morning, so I just need you to help me out. Ah! Thank you very much. Alright, now we- Ninja Brian! Come on, quit joking around. This is se- ah! Alright, let's go. Oh! Oh! Can't- can't go yet. I can't go yet. Well I'll tell you why not.

This song is about a problem that I have... frequently

There are three, three, three kinds of erections

Some are sexual, some occur during periods of nervous tension

But there's a mysterious third kind that no one really understands

It happens when your schlong decides to take matters into its own hands

No reason boner

No reason boner

It baffles scientists

No reason boner

This morning I was having breakfast at the Midtown diner

The bagel was delicious and the coleslaw couldn't be finer

I got a weird look from the waitress when I asked her for the cheque

I looked down and realised I was one hundred percent erect

No reason boner

No reason boner

I like coleslaw but not that much

No reason boner

"Hi, welcome to the post office!"

"Thanks! I just need to mail this package!"

"No problem. Just place it on the scale."

"Sure thing! Oh! Oh god! I- I can't right now."

"Why not?"

"I- I have to go. I have a, uh... doctor's appointment at the dentist's."

Now things are a little awkward between my mailman and I

That was not my best lie, I was just covering up for my

No reason boner

No reason boner

That was the wrong kind of package to mail

No reason boner

"Hi, welcome to the zoo!"

"Great! I love the zoo! Look at all those monkeys!"

"Actually, those technically aren't monkeys. They're macaques."

"Wow! Macaque's really hairy!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Uh... So what time does the zoo close?"

"About eight o'clock."

"Great! That gives me a chance to- Oh god! Aw, not- not now. Not in front of the children. Why have you forsaken me, lord?"

This is no laughing matter, this is not some kind of game

I can tuck away my johnson, but I can never tuck away the shame

It can happen anytime, it can happen anywhere

When the Loch Ness Monster decides it wants to randomly come up for air

No reason boner

Oh!

No reason boner

You're ruining my life

No reason boner

No reason boner

No reason boner

Why...?

Boner.

Music video credits

Cast

Danny Sexbang - Dan Avidan

Ninja Brian - Brian Wecht

Unknown role - Zach Hagen

Unknown role - Jo-Ann Harold

Unknown role - Janelle Hawkes

Friend - Dan Hodapp

Friend - Julie Katz

Unknown role - Kellie McCants

Friend - Mookie Thompson

Unknown role - Ashley Wilson

Dan's Mailman - Brian Wecht

Zookeeper - Brian Wecht

Production

Director - Jim Turner

Producers - Ninja Sex Party, Jim Turner

Production assistants - Mark Peterson, Morgan Goldin, Ashley Wilson

Drummer - Charlie Shaw

Trivia

• In the music video:
  • The opening scene with Danny and Ninja Brian getting ready is added.
  • Brian plays a character other than Ninja Brian for the first time: Dan's Mailman and the Zookeeper.
  • Danny has no victims.
  • Ninja Brian has no victims.
  • The Dannequin appears when Danny is run over by the Zookeeper.