Smooth Talkin' is the eighth track on Ninja Sex Party's sixth album, Cool Patrol.


You know, Ninja Brian, it's not enough to just be the world's most amazing lover. You also have to be a smooth talker. Well, of course I know how to talk to women! Give me a delicious groove, this is what I tell them.

Girl, I'm gonna take my flangdiddly out

And slam it in your flump (That's right)

Then without a sound I'll run my tongue

All up and down your whole spekunk (You like that?)

Then I'll flip you round and lay you down

And rub my gank up on your schmears (All over your schmears)

Your pliver will start to quiver

When I grab your stanky nooputs by the flears


Open your heart and give me a taste of your florp

I'm gonna lightly stroke your flendle till you tworf

Then I will gently flick your turfles, baby

Till you scream "Oh my god, I'm gonna crumble it so hard!"

Damn... That's some smooth talkin'. Plenty more where that came from, meh...

Now it's- Oh, horns, sorry.

Here we go, baby. Now it's- Oh, wow, guitar solo too, alright.

Now it's time for me to take my tiddlybits

And mash 'em till they gub (Oh yeah)

I've got two nasty doodads

And they're begging for one moment with your schnub (Yeah, yeah)

My sackety-pack is the figgity-figgity-fack

And it's on the attack, it's gonna mack back in your coo!

We're gonna mate till we're drained like two hot schmazens

And I glaze you with my schmoo (Woohoo!)

Dinner is served and it looks like my vagoink is the main dish

So sit down and gobble my spoont or leave if you wish

To not have a nice taste of my flappy squish

Let her go, Ninja Brian. She's probably just going to think about it. Well, if you need me, I'll be in my chambers...schnubbing my own gank! Ahhuhuhuhuh!

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