Five feet high and three feet wide
No one's ever eaten the whole thing and survived
It comes with a bucket of ranch on the side
It's the Ultimate Sandwich! (Dear God!)
The Ultimate Sandwich! (Oh shit!)
Its taste could drive a lesser man insane
Served on wheat bread made from thirty thousand separate grains
It was made by a demon in his kitchen of pain
It's the Ultimate Sandwich! (Sweet Christ!)
The Ultimate Sandwich! (Fuck yeah!)
Whoa-oh! It's a shit-ton of chicken on a dickload of ham
An explosion of clams
Whoa-oh! Top that fucker with yams!
Now just add panther, bear meat, and duck
And you've got a sandwich that I'd like to fuck
I mean eat. What?
The Ultimate Sandwich uses weapons-grade ham
To awaken your passions, make you feel like a man
It's as dense an anvil and as big as a raft
Its sun-dried tomatoes grip the sides of my shaft
Topped with man's hottest peppers on the world's coldest cuts
It's time to get sexy, no ifs, ands, or buts
As I thrust deep inside it, bacon grazes my nuts
It's the Ultimate Sandwich! (Oh tits!)
The Ultimate Sandwich! (Hot balls!)
Whoa-oh! It's a legend of lunches, the lord of buffets
I could slam it for days
Whoa-oh! It sets my patties ablaze
It's time to stuff my stuff in its stuffing
Ninja Brian, for practise I nailed your blueberry muffins
Oh, but not the one you're eating right now, Brian. All right, I fucked that muffin too. You gonna judge me? You gonna be a Judgey Jason about this? Ah! You have cleaved my entire body in half.
Music Video Credits
- Lane Kwederis as Banana Girl
- Alison Barton as Girl Eventually Repulsed By Danny
- Dan Hodapp as Roger The Referee
- Branden Lam as "Dear God!"
- Jerry as "Oh Shit!"
- Zack Evans as Reporter #23
- Written, Performed, and Musically Composed by Ninja Sex Party
- Animations by Rubber Ross
- Directed by Jim Turner
- Assistant Directed by Ray Pagnucco
- The instrumental music played at the beginning of the music video was later used as the basis for the Starbomb song "The Simple Plot of Final Fantasy VII"
- Dan appears in an uncredited role as The Ultimate Sandwich