The Ultimate Sandwich is the twelfth track on Ninja Sex Party's second album, Strawberries and Cream. Its music video was released on March 26th, 2013, and features animations by Ross O'Donovan.
Lyrics
Oh! Danny, that was amazing.
I know. Now that we've had successful intercourse, it's time for the romance to begin. Ninja Brian, hand me that book of erotic fiction! This is the story of the Ultimate Sandwich.
Five feet high and three feet wide
No one's ever eaten the whole thing and survived
It comes with a bucket of ranch on the side
It's the Ultimate Sandwich! (Dear God!)
The Ultimate Sandwich! (Oh shit!)
Its taste could drive a lesser man insane
Served on wheat bread made from thirty thousand separate grains
It was made by a demon in his kitchen of pain
It's the Ultimate Sandwich! (Sweet Christ!)
The Ultimate Sandwich! (Fuck yeah!)
Whoa-oh! It's a shit-ton of chicken on a dickload of ham
An explosion of clams
Whoa-oh! Top that fucker with yams!
Now just add panther, bear meat, and duck
And you've got a sandwich that I'd like to fuck
I mean eat. What?
The Ultimate Sandwich uses weapons-grade ham
To awaken your passions, make you feel like a man
It's as dense an anvil and as big as a raft
Its sun-dried tomatoes grip the sides of my shaft
Topped with man's hottest peppers on the world's coldest cuts
It's time to get sexy, no ifs, ands, or buts
As I thrust deep inside it, bacon grazes my nuts
It's the Ultimate Sandwich! (Oh tits!)
The Ultimate Sandwich! (Hot balls!)
Whoa-oh! It's a legend of lunches, the lord of buffets
I could slam it for days
Whoa-oh! It sets my patties ablaze
It's time to stuff my stuff in its stuffing
Ninja Brian, for practise I nailed your blueberry muffins
Oh, but not the one you're eating right now, Brian. All right, I fucked that muffin too. You gonna judge me? You gonna be a Judgey Jason about this? Ah! You have cleaved my entire body in half.