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"Unicorn Wizard" is the third track on Ninja Sex Party's second album, Strawberries and Cream. Its music video was released on October 25th, 2012, and features animations by Chris O'Neill and Zach Hadel.


Lyrics[]

Sometimes I wish I was even more awesome than I already am
What would my life be like if I turned that shit up to eleven (out of a possible five)?
Ninja Brian, hand me my cloak. And my staff. And my horn. And that thermos of soup. I'm hungry but also thirsty, and you can kind of, like, eat and drink soup at the same time. Let's go!
(Woo!)

Riding straight out of your imagination
Using my magic to fight against crime
Destroying evil with powers most awesome
Protecting the weak almost all of the time
But not on Sundays - Game of Thrones is on!

Now is the time for a man of conviction
The world needs a hero and I am that guy
Look! Who is that masked man?
That's Ninja Brian. But shut up about him. Let's focus on me because:

I am the Unicorn Wizard
Riding for justice on a comet of stars
With the help of my sidekick Princess Handjob
I'm more awesome and smarter than I already are

I am the Unicorn Wizard
My spells are amazing and my reflexes quick
My horn is my strength and my strength is my power
And my power is my horn and my horn is my dick

Here's your opportunity to stop listening if this song got too amazing for you. No? Okay.

My life is a party, the guests are supermodels
Operation: I Rule is a total success
Each day I invent a new form of karate
That changes the way that Japan views the West
Now that's progress! Doitashi mashitay!

Then we retire to the Chamber of Passion
And bathe in a pool of strawberries and cream
The strawberries rub and exfoliate gently
The cream travels places you can't even dream

Ugh, I think I just dreamed it.
How was it? Amazing?
Uhh...
You mean uhh...stounding? Yeah you do.

I am the Unicorn Wizard
Just like Danny Sexbang, I'm handsome and strong
With the help of my hellhounds Tinkles and Gary
We'll punish the wicked then break into song

I am the Unicorn Wizard
A superhero for the entire human race
My wand casts a spell that will unlock the door
And the wand is my junk and the door is your face

Danny. Danny, wake up.
Uh- Oh- Oh, hey, mom. I had the craziest dream. I was the Unicorn Wizard.
Aw. Shut up.
Unicorn Wizard...
I said shut up.
You shut up.

Music Video Credits[]

Cast[]

Production[]

External Links[]

Watch Unicorn Wizard on YouTube

Danny SexbangNinja Brian
Dan AvidanBrian Wecht
Studio Albums Original Albums NSFWStrawberries and CreamAttitude CityCool PatrolThe Prophecy
Cover Albums Under the CoversUnder the Covers, Vol. IIUnder the Covers, Vol. III
Singles "Dinosaur Laser Fight" • "FYI I Wanna F Your A" • "Next to You" • "Unicorn Wizard" • "Party of Three" • "Dragon Slayer" • "Peppermint Creams" • "Attitude City" • "Why I Cry" • "Road Trip" • "Cool Patrol" • "Eating Food in the Shower" • "Danny Don't You Know" • "Orgy for One" • "Wondering Tonight"
Music Videos "I Just Want To (Dance)" • "The Decision" • "No Reason Boner" • "The Sacred Chalice" • "If We Were Gay" • "Sex Training" • "Objects of Desire" • "You Can Do Us!" • "Manticore" • "Dinosaur Laser Fight" • "FYI I Wanna F Your A" • "NSP Theme Song" • "Three Minutes of Ecstasy" • "Next to You" • "Unicorn Wizard" • "The Ultimate Sandwich" • "Let's Get This Terrible Party Started" • "Best Friends Forever!" • "Party of Three" • "Rhinoceratops vs. Superpuma" • "Dragon Slayer" • "Attitude City" • "Why I Cry" • "Peppermint Creams" • "The Last Unicorn" • "Everybody Shut Up" • "Road Trip" • "Cookies!" • "Take On Me" • "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" • "Samurai Abstinence Patrol" • "6969" • "Cool Patrol" • "Wish You Were Here" • "Eating Food in the Shower" • "Pour Some Sugar on Me" • "Rocket Man" • "Heat of the Moment" • "Orgy for One" • "Danny Don't You Know" • "Heart Boner" • "First Date" • "Africa" • "Release the Kraken" • "In Your Eyes" • "Courtship of the Mermaid" • "Mansion Party" • "We Built This City" • "Down Under" • "The Decision Part 2: Ten Years Later" • "I Don't Know What We're Talking About" • "Thunder & Lightning" • "Wondering Tonight" • "It's Bedtime" • "Welcome to My Parents' House" • "The Mystic Crystal"
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